Beware of the Clean House With A Toddler Scam

You’ve heard the familiar stories where the child’s following so closely behind that you bend down to carefully pick a toy up and instantly knock him down with your butt. Or where the beloved child depicts a tornado creating havoc in every room you literally just picked up which isn’t noticed until you go back to put something away. What about the toddler who discovers electronics in each room he enters, climbs over furniture, and chucking things out of the way to reach them? Typically screeching and fake crying ensue while continuing to follow you around the house. Then the last where the child is frightened of the noisy vacuum cleaner. He literally crawls up your legs to instantly get in your protective arms which makes it naturally harder to actually push the vacuum.

Anyone? No?! Well not my sweet child either.

Okay…yes. Yes, it undoubtedly is. Totally. Absolutely.

I realize little Q’s not as bad as he could be and we’re working on instructing him to put things away. A perfect example. The other night he hurled some of his delicious food on the floor. After multiple nights with the same issue, we made him pick up each piece of food pitched and placed it on his tray. As parents we endured, and I humbly believe my husband and I are the only ones learning anything. Those lessons are: 1) it is a tedious process with an 18 month old, 2) we should definitely take a seat on the floor, and 3) keep an arm around little Q to make him stay close while we guide his little paws open and closed around each vittle. Okay, I digress.

The short story is, get practiced up on your Photoshop because your charming house will likely not be picture perfect with an active toddler around and that’s okay. Heartily enjoy playing with them since they will only be little once. Allow them be messy as long as you can maintain your sanity. When you gently knock them over with your butt, keep laughing hysterically but scoop them up and graciously give them a massive hug and kiss while telling them you dearly love them. When the tiny tornado takes over a room, sit down to play with them since there are obviously fun things in there. When they’re trying to get all the electronics that aren’t theirs, hand them the toys that make noises and produce lights. If they continue to follow you around fake crying and fussing because that’s not what they desire, bump ’em with your butt.

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